How old is the midlife crisis in men, how to survive

A midlife crisis in men is not a disease, but a mental state. And it corresponds to a certain stage of the physiological development of the individual.

Someone begins to experience life discomfort with the corresponding symptoms before 35, and someone he overtakes after 50 years. This is not a pathology, but a natural process (like aging). The critical role in the crisis is played by the hormonal component, which determines the sexual viability of a man.

What is the name of a midlife crisis in men?

Psychology, together with many complex definitions of the described state, such as "extremalization of the constantly sluggish syndrome of existence", gives a simple one: depression. Like the rest of its types, it is only caused by the realization that youth has passed.

Depending on the depth of a man's awareness of the irreversibility of what is happening, it happens:

• easy;
• medium;
• heavy.

The British call the period of life described in the article: "midlife crisis". This term was first used in 1965 by the Canadian psychologist Elliott Jax. Prior to that, American psychologist Daniel Levinson described it as: "" deep psychological and physiological stress.

Reasons

From 35-40 years old, representatives of the stronger sex experience a crisis period of varying duration. Causes: biological, social, psychological and cultural.

The first "call" is a weakening of potency. Free testosterone with age in a man's body becomes less, libido decreases, and with it erection worsens. Confidence in one's masculine strength disappears, uncertainty is gradually projected onto other areas of life.

Changes in hormonal levels affect health and appearance:

• blood pressure rises, heart and vascular problems begin;
• female-type body fat appears;
• hair thinning, skin becomes less elastic.

The situation is aggravated by the man's attempts to appear young, successful and strong without objective prerequisites. The weaker and more infantile the individual, the harder it is for him to grow old, the more severe the symptoms appear.

When and how long does a midlife crisis begin in men?

When a midlife crisis strikes, it is impossible to say for sure. There is no exact age range for the phenomenon, in many respects "beginning" and "end" depend on individual characteristics

The duration depends on subjective (personal) and objective (external) reasons. Scientists have found out the dependence even on geophysical data: the further south the latitude where the man lives, the later the age crisis begins. The influence of sunlight affects the male body.

Loneliness and lack of money, a bad temper prolong depression, a tendency to introspection, a comfortable life and a calm family life shorten its duration.

8 symptoms and signs

The crisis manifests itself in the desire to revise the traversed life path with a negative attitude in advance.

Main features:

All symptoms are combined with a desire to change something in your life. Often, a midlife crisis prompts changes in the social sphere (family, work, communication).

The psychological symptoms of a midlife crisis in men are expressed in the fact that they:

Everything in the complex leads to behavioral deformations: a man becomes irritable, periods of suppressed mood are replaced by outbursts of causeless anger.

The mood "I want everything and as much as possible" turns into the mood "I want nothing, because I can’t do anything".

The man tries to solve his internal crisis by embellishing the symptoms, but not by fighting the root cause. The illusory satisfaction does not last long, and the subsequent frustration aggravates the depression.

Stages (stages) of a midlife crisis in men

Analyst Murray Stein divided the period of critical male age into three stages, which he designated as:

• "death";
• rethinking;
• "revive".

The trigger point for the first stage may be the loss of parents, children, and other relatives. It will not be possible to compensate it, only time heals. Rethinking what has been lived and what is happening "now" takes the entire second stage, the longest one. After that (third stage) a man "settles in" in middle age, learns to receive positive emotions from life, to appreciate the years that he lived and the people who are around. These are encouraging signs, harbingers that the crisis is coming to an end.

The scheme is not formulaic: men can make mistakes at each of the stages, which throws the situation back to the beginning of the crisis path, prolonging the "depression" for years and decades.

Overcoming

The stronger the support of family and friends, the faster and easier it is for a man to overcome the crisis. The understanding and patience of the wife, children, colleagues is important.

Psychologist and urologist at this time are "best friends". They will listen and understand, explain and reassure the patient during the treatment process. The urologist, among other things, will be able to timely identify problems with erectile function, an enlarged prostate.

From medications, sedatives and even antidepressants, medications (in case of male health problems), dietary supplements can be prescribed.

Leaving

Proper care and understanding of the problem helps to choose the right tactics in overcoming the midlife crisis, to stop obvious symptoms.

People of creative professions, far from hard work, although they show vivid symptoms of age-related depression, but in their hearts they experience it easier. They need to be loaded with physical work - take them to the dacha, send them on a hiking trip with a heavy backpack, put an exercise bike at home, and say how good my husband is now.

Men-workaholics can suffer hard in the soul, break into wild drinking and spree, not seeing a way out. It is better to distract them from work, to give them a rest more often. You can go with your family to the sea or together to a boarding house in the middle lane (overlooking a birch grove from the window), adapt a representative of the sterner sex to visiting excursions.

The feeling of a safe and "warm" hand next to you means a lot. But you shouldn't turn support into caring for a seriously ill patient. This can make the situation worse.

Additional tips for wives

Do not abuse prohibitions and moralizing, because a man will do it out of spite against the backdrop of a crisis. Better to keep quiet. The main advice to wives, besides patience and understanding: you need to determine the lines for which it is better for the husband not to cross, and to be able to be decisive in defending his position and his rights.

It's one thing if a spouse offers to go to football together, and another thing when he wants to invite a girl for a threesome.

How long the crisis lasts in middle age depends on how correctly they treat a man. You need to help get out of depression. But you cannot lay yourself in front of your husband like a carpet, so that he does not stumble and hurt himself. Remember: the absence of any constraints can lead to devastating consequences, for example, the breakdown of the family.

How to get over

Surviving the crisis period without problems will not work. But you can reduce the destructive effect of depression. The less a person is engaged in self-criticism and escape from reality to the world of the past and memories, the faster he will get used to his "new" age.

The closest people can help - those who have been around for a long time and know well the strengths and weaknesses of a person. Men over 40 should understand that the years they have lived have given them experience, life and professional. And now is the time to unleash your potential.

Reducing the production of androgens inevitably affects sex. To solve the problem, you can go with your wife to a sex therapist, and also go to a male doctor if you are unable to establish your sex life on your own with the help of a healthy lifestyle and dietary supplements (such as Rexatal, Potentialeks, etc.).

How and when it ends

Nobody knows how many years a mature man will come out of the crisis. All that is known about male age-related depression is that it is protracted and is experienced deeper than female depression. It is easier for women - they have a rich toolkit for visual age correction and they do not understand what impotence is. If an orgasm can be simulated, then an erection does not go away.

The crisis in men lasts until they realize that they will no longer be young and learn to take it calmly.

Sooner or later, the state of crisis passes. But there are exceptions, in severe cases, when suicidal urges prevail over common sense. If the 40+ crisis was a disease, it would be one that goes away regardless of how it is treated, or whether it is being treated at all. But, symptomatic treatment will definitely alleviate the condition of the aging.

The midlife crisis in men ends in most cases together with middle age and the transition to another age category.

Prevention

There are no specific methods of preventing plunge into a crisis. In general, doctors advise after 25-30 years of age:

• physical activity in the gym (3-4 times a week for 1.5 hours);
• proper nutrition (preference should be given to meat, vegetables, eggs, dairy products, fruits and whole grain cereals);
• quitting smoking and alcohol (beer is especially harmful, which has a destructive effect on the male body, making the figure more feminine, as well as reducing desire and erection, due to the presence of plant phytoestrogens in the composition);
• regular sex with your beloved partner;
• annual medical examination, it is especially important to go through a urologist and andrologist.

Hormone replacement therapy is recommended in extreme cases (when the amount of testosterone in the blood is 2 times less and more than the lower reference mark, that is, below 5 nmol / L), so that synthetic drugs do not inhibit their own testosterone production.