Who said that the oldest member of the family is grandfather?

A recent US study confirms that men, even at an advanced age, are able to successfully have sex.

The US population is rapidly aging. Mature partners make up an increasing proportion of couples. Most men in their 60s and 70s who are physically capable of making love regularly do so with their partners. Numerous studies show that, compared to older spouses who abstain from sex, those who maintain an active sex life are more satisfied with relationships, have better physical and mental health, a positive attitude, a higher quality of life, and even an increased life expectancy.

But at a more mature age, the reproductive system in humans undergoes changes. Most older men and women feel less sexual desire and energy, especially in the presence of chronic diseases (hypertension, diabetes, heart disease, etc.). Elderly men usually develop erectile dysfunction. Most older women struggle with vaginal dryness and thinning of the tissues (atrophy), which can make intercourse difficult, even with lubrication. Many also find it increasingly difficult to bring themselves to orgasm.

Frequency reduction, but not satisfaction

However, despite the fact that in later life the frequency of sexual life decreases, the satisfaction from intimacy remains almost unchanged. In fact, some old men confess that they feel even happier with their lovemaking than ever before.

How do older people maintain enjoyable sex?

Researchers at Sonoma University in California invited married couples over 50 to participate in a survey published on the NBC News website. More than 9,000 people participated.

In their analysis, the researchers divided the subjects into four groups:

Researchers focused on two groups, low-low and high-high, and filtered out those whose H-L status was due to health problems that interfered with making love. The H-H group consisted predominantly of the stronger sex, 48 percent of the men who answered the survey, and 38 percent of the women. The B-B group was predominantly female - 38% of women and 33% of men.

Factors that reduce frequency and satisfaction

Low frequency and low satisfaction were closely related to the following reasons:

- Differences in desire, where one wants sex significantly more than the other. Naturally, love suffers at the same time.

- Boredom. After a while, the same familiar thing ceases to please.

- Misunderstanding. Partners who don't talk about their changing wants and needs, or who stop listening to problems, gradually, at a certain age, stop feeling connected to each other.

- Rejection of the initiative. When one of the spouses makes sexual proposals, and the other rejects them, then the former accumulates irritation and the desire to initiate it in the future disappears. If this happens repeatedly, both partners have resentment.

- No mood. The partner does not need any candles, music, laughter or gentle whispers before and during sex.

- Hasty and mechanical performance of sexual intercourse. Little or no foreplay: kissing, hugging, mutual full body massage, oral sex or toys.

- Differences in temperament. Couples with H-H levels of satisfaction often couldn't agree on how long sex should last, as insisting on quick action often angers the other.

- Emotional distance and chronic tension in relationships. This kills desire and impairs potency.

- Sexual incompatibility. In older people with H-L levels of intimate life, it all consists of many stories of sexual dissatisfaction with each other.

- Mythology. When one partner says "I/we are too old for sex", the other feels alienated.

Sexual elements that increase the frequency and satisfaction of sexual life

High frequency and high satisfaction were closely related to the following factors:

- Synchronicity. Married couples can agree on the frequency of sexual intercourse with which they could live more or less comfortably.

- Novelty. Everything new and unusual stimulates the release of dopamine, the neurotransmitter of sexual energy. Happy couples make love in new ways in new places and at different times. They are always open to impromptu and thank each other for new experiences.

- Discussion. What is true intimacy? Mutual understanding, in other words. Silence interferes with intimacy and weakens emotional bonds. Spouses tend to discuss their sexual desires, needs and fantasies. They also rate each other highly as lovers.Many have called or texted before dates to let them know they are looking forward to making love.

- Active mood setting. Happy couples spend more time on candles, emotional background, music, laughter and more often say: "I love you".

- A lot of love. "Foreplay" refers to the activities that precede coitus. Many older lovers find intercourse difficult or impossible due to erection problems in men and vaginal dryness and atrophy in women. Experienced older lovers usually do not exaggerate or even refuse intercourse and focus on kissing, hugging, mutual full body massage, manual stimulation, oral sex, toys and possibly some games (fetishism, blindfolding, spanking, etc. .).

- Emotional investment. Married couples are constantly working on relationships and welcome discussions.

- Happy story. Couples who were sexually active in their youth usually maintain this activity in old age.

- The desire to remain sexy. In married couples, both spouses believe that sex is important for the relationship, and neither of them refuses to make love because of age or for other reasons.

Not just for the elderly

While this study focused on couples over 50 years of age, the elements that contribute to sexual satisfaction or lack thereof are independent of age. The reasons for low and high frequency and sex life satisfaction apply to lovers of all ages.